The start to 2021 has seen chilly weather all around Singapore. While many don jackets outdoors and even indoors, I stay sheathed in my grey top, black shorts, and slippers when out and about. These are sufficient to keep me warm. In fact, I am inclined to believe that my body houses an organ that generates heat as it thrives off my fantasies of snow to befall this island. I just do not know what such an organ is called.
Nevertheless, though Singapore is a close friend of the equator, we must never lose hope of someday seeing ice crystals descend from above onto our outstretched palms as we proclaim: “Oh, thy heavens giveth ice! Thy heavens giveth ice!”
Anyway, readers of my blog would know that I believe wholeheartedly in the mantra: “Be useful“. I think The Girlfriend took that literally and uses me as a portable heater. So, every day, I sleep soundly knowing that my ability to radiate heat in chilly conditions ensures my utility even when I stand absolutely still or watch ants make their way through cracks in cement walls. Where do these critters come from though? And why do they always know where the crumbs are? On another note: If I ever go camping, must I bring a portable heater to draw insects away from me?
Ants or not, Singapore experienced chilly and rainy weather during the tail end of 2020. That period also gave inklings of a potential job promotion for The GF. Disregarding pay raises, she was already earning more than me despite our relatively vast difference in titles. Here, I noted that educational qualifications still substantially affected employee salaries. Having reached my pay cap pegged to a Diploma, it left me wondering how much more I would have earned had I possessed a Degree many years ago; But, this would be a story for another day.
Hindsight instructed me to be appreciative of my current situation. It also informed my decision to avoid jumping straight into university fresh out of a two year stint with the nation since further education did not rank high on my life goals then.
No matter, just as the new year brought cool temperatures and floods around the island, it also brought heartwarming news to us: The GF’s promotion was (quite) confirmed. In the absence of any official announcement (yet), her workplace’s portal listed her new job title and we took it to mean that she was no longer an executive.
This called for a celebratory dinner. After all, humans are quite fond of celebrating, no? It felt apt to do just that since this promotion was quite the milestone. A brief search brought my attention to an eatery that was part-cafe, part-grocery.
Interesting.
This was Little Farms Cafe at Valley Point.
The cafe is situated on the right side of the main entrance to the mall. You cannot miss it. On this Sunday evening, the place was far from packed. While a waitress guided us indoors, we opted to sit outside to soak in the sights and sounds of car doors slamming shut while headlights casted dancing shadows across the walls.
It was a rather lovely experience.
Though empty tables filled the space inside Little Farms Cafe, I reckoned that the pandemic and Valley Point's location buffeted the desires of patrons to...patronise its pristine premises. We remained firmly planted outdoors.
The GF ordered a glass of Mimosa (White wine and orange juice). Whether the wine gave a zing to the juice, or the orange provided the zest to the mix, we will never know. It tasted like orange juice that had an identity crisis. You must know that I have no business with wines. I prefer beer, sans belly, thank you very much. So, I got myself a bottle of Little Creatures Pale Ale that presented a rather sweet afternote once the punch from the ale subsided.
And then it was time to eat.
Chicken Parmigiana for me. 
Wagyu Beef Burger for her.
We both noted that Little Farms Cafe served an entire farm of greens and yellows. The portions were certainly larger than what I am used to receiving, and the images belie their sizes. The two dishes when combined could feed a squad of firefighters. However, something made me do a triple take from the golden brown heap.
Today, I learned that chips could be used as a unit of measure. I gauged this crispy potato as roughly five stabby fork-widths in length or 47 mouth-chews. If you love everything about potatoes, you owe it to yourself to dine at least once at Little Farms Cafe, if only for its fries. Now, I do not know if they will accede to your request for chips of extraordinary lengths, but do let me know when you ask for chips cut to the length of six stabby fork-widths.
"Tell me about the Chicken Parmigiana and not the sides, you insolent fool!"
Oh right. The Chicken Parmigiana. At a glance, I am reminded of the chicken cutlet meals found in any self-respecting hawker centre. Yet, this is not just the breast of a chicken doused in three inches of flour. The chicken skin accepted the knife with no fuss and cracked neatly with each slice, making me think that I have the chops to be a surgeon. With hawker fare, you sometimes find the need to rend chicken flesh or wish that you brought your katana. Not with this Chicken Parmigiana though. It knew its gastronomical purpose. It offered no resistance. I like that in my food.
Several layers of ham between tomato sauce and melted cheese sits on top of the chicken. Its coarse and crispy skin held the sauce in place, letting me slice through it all, despite holding the knife with my left hand--Some say I am a rebel.
As for the Wagyu Beef Burger, The GF called for a medium rare. The usual suspects in tomatoes and lettuce cushioned the patty, clamped together by buns layered lightly with what looked to be mustard sauce.
Once again, a tiny morsel of beef found its way into my tummy and I lived to tell the tale. Perhaps I should stop eating food that fell short of "fully cooked" by now, if only to secure my longevity. I surmised that fans of beef should find absolute delight at chowing down this burger and toothpick too.
After satiating our hunger, we roamed the grocery section of Little Farms, and wandered along its aisles to find a wide variety of foods suitable for the kitchens in many homes. Just so you know, a FairPrice Finest supermarket is located just opposite Little Farms. This is CapitalismFinest if you think about it. Anyone can certainly get their food game on at Valley Point.
I rate Little Farms Cafe four forks from fifteen french fries.